The Laziest Games

Default Feb 28, 2019 No Comments

What game is so lazy, it asks people to make the game for them? What game doesn’t ask you to do anything but just look at it for 50 hours? Whether it’s developer laziness or player laziness, here are the laziest games ever made.

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow • It’s not so much that Lords of Shadow is bad. It’s a decent game with some cool moments. • It’s just that it was a lot more fun when it was called God of War and Shadow of the Casinoslots Singapore • The action sequences have you using a chain-like weapon to beat up enemies. The bosses have to be climbed on so you can stab them in a specific spot. Both are good gameplay mechanics. But this game lifted both of them from better games.

Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing • This is the video game equivalent of starting a novel, writing the first and last chapters, and then putting it out for sale with 300 blank pages in the middle. • Big Rigs is the very definition of an unfinished game. There’s no music, none of the objects have any collision – INCLUDING THE BRIDGES – the physics are nonsensical, and the game tells you that you won, even when you obviously came in last place. • And it doesn’t even do that right. It tells you “You’re Winner!” They couldn’t even be bothered to spell check it.

Superman 64 • This game took two years to make. • This game. Took two. Years. To make. Including a six-month delay. What were they doing with that time? • In fairness, it seems like a smaller game than it actually is, because almost nobody has stuck with it long enough to get past the first level, where Superman flies through rings to fight Lex Luthor somehow.

Tiger Electronics LCD Games • In the 1990s, it wasn’t unusual to find a bunch of little handheld LCD games in your local store for 20 dollars. They’d have names you know like “Sonic the Hedgehog,” or “Star Wars,” or “Spider-Man.” • Tiger was able to get a lot of licenses for things that made their games sound cool. But the games themselves were so lazy, they felt like trying to play a slideshow. • There was so little to these games, you could actually see every single frame the game had to offer just by turning it on.

The CD-I Zelda Games • The lazy thing about these Zelda games isn’t the awful design, unresponsive controls, or the horrifically animated cutscenes. Or the even worse live-action cutscenes. • In some ways, they tried to make these games decent, despite obviously knowing nothing about game design. That animation took a lot of work, even if it does look horrific. • What’s lazy is the total lack of regard for the Zelda franchise. Phillips had the most revered game franchise in the world right in their hands, and they made red rupees equal one rupee. Even the most basic of series staples and details were just ignored entirely.

Gwendolyn Franklin